Keempat

This is a story about a girl that have been hurt.
It has been a while. The blood is no longer dripping away. And the cut is finally dried.
What left is a small scar.
This serve as a reminder.
From trust of friendship what came was an episodes of betrayal and heartache.
It was a serious case of misjudgement. The saying of craplike 'what goes around comes around' did not even do justice.
Lying is a norm yes but deceiving is totally a different thing.
You lied for a greater good.
You deceived for your own good.
But yes, the preacher will say, "It was unintentional".
"There is a good reason behind all this" or "Take it as a lesson learnt" or "Just forgive him and be a bigger person."

So I did. All of the above.

As I found peace and solace, I can't start to imagine how would you suffer without me helping you out now.

I'm sorry for I have stopped caring.
It was never meant to be.

I wish you every happiness.
And thank you for the experience.
It was, indeed, once in a lifetime.

I have now closed another chapter in my life. It is entitled 'Fai'.

Ketiga

Him.

A romantic hopeless kinda guy. 

Who loves Sneakers and X Japan.

This one is for you.

"Have You Ever?"

[Chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
[Chorus]

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
[Chorus]

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
[Chorus]

Kedua

I have made up my mind and I have come to a conclusion.

"Live for the day and die tomorrow, not today. Not today"

This is a short lived conversation I had in the car earlier:

+ Do you really think that I dun have such feelings? 

- Nope, I thought you don't have it in you.

And there's a long pause. As I was debating with myself on the topic.

Jealousy. 

Truth be told, yes, I'm a freak when it came to that. I'm the jealous type.

Even with my siblings, or relatives or closest friends, I sometimes feels it.

But, since the last route I've taken, I don't really 'feel' it anymore. As if I'm numb.

I can still utter the feeling that I have yes, but it's just a mere adjective.

Deep down in my heart, I don't feel it.

Some dumb blondes told me, if it's ain't jealousy, it's ain't love.

I would rather receive a modest amount of attention for the tiniest span of time rather than getting all the 'Wh-Questions' and 50 missed calls on my mobile.

I can remember in the past I would investigate, initiated and infuriated over a hunch I got from a glimpse of a name that flashes on my partner's mobile, or a subtle hints of a cheap parfums.

That is so negative and it take whole lot of work and it will drain me of what little energy I had.

Then, there's this time, when you realised, there's nothing you can do anymore.

'They' does not belong to you, no matter how hard you tried to convince 'them'.

'They' were never yours. The sooner you realised, the better you will feel.

Then you will come to this point, where you give your all to the Lord Almighty and just follow what have been chartered for you.

Does it make me empty? Does it make me lonely? Does it make me cry?

I know one thing it does for sure - a calmer life.